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Richard Lawrence Cohen

That algorithm is worthy of R. D. Laing's KNOTS, which I mean as a high compliment. Thanks for a great post.

dilys

As always, thanks, Richard. [Or knot... :-)]

Molly Gordon, MCC

As The Beatles, still my favorite band, sang,

"Please, please me;
Love me do..."

I spent 40 years striving to be good and happy arguing with myself and reality, and 12 exploring the possibility that joy and delight are valid companions on the spiritual path. Happily, I am good-er when happy.

Your easily entertained fan,

Molly

Katje

Interestingly, I'm ending an friendship (acquaintanceship?) of over a year because the woman has this problem. It took me a long time to realize that she just doesn't want to be happy. I've stopped calling or going by, and while I'll still occasionally answer the phone, it's with a distant, non-commital (yet decent) response. I think she finally sees that no one likes to deal with this behaviour. We have some acquaintances in common (through me), and they tell me they are doing the same thing. Whenever she tries to manipulate someone by sulking, pouting or attempting to garner sympathy with some tale of woe (which she likely brought on herself), I pleasantly and pointedly ignore her and change the subject to something positive and disgustingly cheerful about someone or something, or some good bit of news or the like, and I'll keep it up 'til she takes her act on the road, or shapes up and decides to join in life with the rest of us. It's been interesting to say the least. I would suggest then, that at least part of this problem also rests with those of us who let them get away with it - if only I'd learned this YEARS ago, I could've saved myself so much time and trouble...

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